Moving Day

It’s officially been three months since we moved to Philadelphia. Most people visit the location that they are about to move to, or at least thoroughly research it beforehand…this wasn’t the case for us. Daniel and I visited the city the day we moved.

Since then, this city’s quickly been wooing us with its charm. It’s humid charm…. 

After living in so many different buildings, one of my favorite things is dropping our bags and doing a building tour. Did I mention that our building has a pet groomer on the third floor, a gym on the fourth, a theatre and games floor on the eighth and a skyscraper view of Philadelphia on the top? Long story short, come visit us here in Philly! But be aware, we’re moving out of this building and into a nice-but-average pet groomer-less one bed apartment.

But in all seriousness it was pretty surreal to move back to the U.S. even for me… For two years I’ve been home for short two week bursts but this had a more long-term feel. There was also the curiosity of what Daniel would think having never lived in the U.S. before.  Since the move, I’ve learned a lot about the US through his observations, seeing it through his eyes… Both the good and the bad.

If you’ve ever wondered what a “foreigner” a.k.a Daniel thinks about a-day-in-the-life of America, keep reading…

As a Scottish child living and growing up in Aberdeen, I always had a fascination with the US. I don’t know where, when or how this came about but ever since I was young there was something that always drew me in. Maybe this was the influence of TV, film or music painting an idyllic picture of what life is like, I’m looking at you 8 Simple Rules and Friends. Or maybe it was the American missionaries I would hang out with as a child, where they would share details about the portions, prices and people the US had to offer. Or maybe it was the confidence that most Americans have, that sense of self-assured belonging. If I’m being honest, I don’t know the specific reason/s as to why or how the US appealed to me but what I do know is that what was instilled in me as a child has lead me to my current situation…married to an American, surrounded by Americans and living/working in America.

Viewing life through the lens of a child is very different than that of an adult’s. Where they see life through the perspective of innocence, we see it through the lens of responsibility. Where children see fun, fantasy and fairy-tale, we can be guilty of seeing, and experiencing, accountability, pain and the mundane. Part of the ‘perks’ of growing up I guess. It was interesting seeing my child-like fascinations and expectations with the US in contrast to the reality of what life really is like living and working in America. Here are some of those observations I’ve found in the US:

-       Let’s start off with a ‘lighter’ one and work from there. Food culture is a big thing here in Philly. So many people use their word-output for conversations about Food. I can’t tell you the amount of times someone has come over to my desk to enquire as to what I had consumed the night before or what I plan on eating when the weekend comes. In the UK, the general opinion is that Food is Fuel. As such I wasn’t exposed to many ‘Foodies’ in my circles. Here, however, is a different story. For starters, food is an art. It can be savoured, planned, monitored, analysed, documented, recorded and most especially shared with others. “How is the food there?” “Oh it was so goooooood” or “It was really bad” are very common exchanges after having visited a location that serves food. And don’t get me started on the portions…a US small is a UK large for sure.

-       Pronunciations is a funny one. In fast food restaurants that require a name for an order, I will pre-emptively call myself Don. Let me explain. Most Americans can’t understand my accent with specific words and they fail to realise that there’s another way of saying Daniel other than DAAAAAAAAAAAniel, emphasis on the A. When I say my name, they ‘kindly’ interpret it as Donyol. So instead of going through the awkward embarrassment of stating my name multiple times, I offer up ‘Don’ as my American pseudonym. One time in McDonalds, I ordered a medium Diet coke. Somehow, wires were crossed and Diet Coke had evolved into an Ice Cream Cone. You can imagine my confusion when I was presented with Ice cream when I was expecting a refreshing beverage.

-       Humour is something I’ve had to get used to over here. There have been a couple of occasions where I’ve delivered a joke with dead-pan delivery which has been met with vacant expressions opposed to desired smiles. After this had happened more times than expected, I’ve adjusted my delivery to a less subtle one - a neon sign attached to a t-shirt exclaiming, “It’s okay, I’m joking. You can laugh if you want”. It’s clear there are some differences between both countries’ humours. UK is a lot more self-deprecating and sarcastic. Some jokes I’ve made at my own expense have even gathered the following responses, “Hey, don’t say that about yourself” or “Stop! That’s not funny, you’re not like that”. Let’s just agree humour is a work-in-progress.

-       It’s a Small World after all. Let’s venture away from the surface and dig a little deeper. Much to your amusement, there have been many occasions, more than I care to share, where I have said to some individuals where I’m from. This has oftentimes been met with some attention-grabbing responses. It has invited individuals to offer up some Scottish people they know that I should automatically know or at least know of... I have also been asked “What language people speak in Scotland?”, “You’re from Scotland, that’s cool. I’m 1/8 Scottish on my mother’s side” (whatever that means), “Do you have heating and electricity over there?”, “Do you deep fry vegetables?” “Do y’all not have Chick Fil A?” as well as a personal favourite “What their name means in Scottish?”. Usually I offer up something made up which can be met with ooohs and ahhhs. I personally take great enjoyment when some try and mimic my accent. It usually comes across as a hybrid between a South African accent and an Indian accent…go figure.

-       Personally, I think Americans have a World View that is different than other countries. Let me caveat the following with the fact that this is not a sweeping statement about every single American, just the majority I’ve encountered across numerous states and platforms. Americans have a sense of patriotism that would be hard to replicate in other countries. You can’t attend a sporting event, have a school assembly, play an outside activity without the national anthem on loudspeaker with a nearby US flag waving around triumphantly. More Americans would know their rights and the words in their constitution than global geography. More Americans would know their list of presidents than know the history of foreign nations. More Americans would know the intricate details of American Football than know the rules of Cricket, to be fair I have no idea what the rules of cricket are… Being an American citizen doesn’t just give you a passport and a right to vote. No, it gives you something more than that. A sense of belonging. A sense of being part of something bigger than yourself. A “Franchised Identity”.  You can travel from New York to Seattle to LA to Honolulu to Miami and confidently know that you are still in the US as each place holds such a specific identity that is easily transferable from state to state. So easily transferable, it resembles one big franchise - Different locations all with different offers selling you the same identity – stripmalls, targets, walmarts, NFL, college Football, Baseball, highschool, universities, grill out, SUVs, signs with a green background and white lettering, streets and avenues, cinnamon, peanut butter, pumpkin spice seasoning, statue of liberty, golden gate bridge, Hollywood, supersize, Chick Fil A, Wendys etc. None of these ‘staples’, however, sold me on the US experience, it was the welcoming embrace of the Americans I’ve been exposed to through family, at work and in church. It doesn’t matter where you’re from, or where your great grandparents are from or how you pronounce words or tell a joke. What matters is the content of your character and how you treat others with what you’ve been given. A key takeaway for you all (I refuse to say y’all) is that this world is small in access but vast in detail filled with amazingly talented diverse people. We need to embrace them for who they are rather than where they’re from or who they’ve been.

So that I’m clear and not misinterpreted, I very much enjoy living and working in the US. Out of all of the locations I’ve worked in (Aberdeen, Edinburgh and London), Philadelphia has been the most social and the most welcoming. At the end of the day, every country has its pluses and minuses. Like a car, opening the hood can reveal a lot of key information. If you open the hood of a nation, you’ll see areas that need topped up, parts that need drained, spills and leaks that need cleaned or attended to. The US is a country that, not without fault, regularly receives criticism, one that I can be guilty of doing. But the US is a great country, one that I am happy to live and work in. And it’s clear my child-like fascinations and expectations haven’t quite matched up with the reality of living and working here but that doesn’t change my experience with people and friendships.

Heidi here - Since all of our moving around, Aberdeen, Edinburgh, London and Philly, I’ve truly seen the goodness of people. People who come alongside two strangers and welcome them completely. I think a perfect example of a home-away-from-home, whatever location or country you may find yourself in, is God’s church.  The church should be a place where people from all different backgrounds, seasons and cultures can come and find instant friends and family. When we first moved to Philly we immediately got plugged into a local church here called ‘Epic.’ That’s right… Epic church. We look forward to continuing to see what God has for us here in Philly and where he will continue to take us in the future. Thanks for supporting Daniel and I as we continue this great adventure together.